If We Were Having Coffee…(4/23/16)

If we were having coffee, we would, presumably, after several sit downs together, eventually get to the topic of politics.  While I’m starting to believe that politics may be an even bigger taboo subject than money and financial matters in general, by this point we would have developed a well enough rapport with one another to bridge this subject.  I’d tell you how I believe that double-standards (i.e. you must accept my differing view or else I will berate and destroy you…but if you do disagree with me, I won’t accept your view and will continue to berate and destroy you) and political correctness are putting a muzzle on our First Amendment right of free speech; not the legal right itself, but rather our free-thinking exercise thereof.  On that note, our Founding Fathers would be spinning in their graves if they knew how everybody is constantly tiptoeing around other peoples’ feelings for fear of being painted as offensive, sexist, racist, elitist, cold-hearted, or any other adjective that gets thrown around at anybody who may have a differing opinion from that which is “in” at any particular moment.  I believe that this stifles conversation and honest discussions, leaving the majority, who remain silent out of fear, to be subjugated to the whims of others.  I’d tell you that, while I’m not overly engaged in the political process, I am a conservative-leaning registered independent.  I find that the two-party system, with their constant toe-the-line bullshit, breeds divisiveness and destroys true opportunities for change and progress in our country and the world at large.

The summation of my overarching view of politics.

We could debate issues all day long; and that’s the beauty of it…we should.  It’s healthy to have differing views among the masses.  It makes for interesting conversation.  But that conversation must go two ways and we shouldn’t be so closed-minded that we lose our sense of humanity and decency, whereby lashing out and attacking each other for our differences.  Rather, we should embrace one another’s viewpoints and realize that every individual is shaped by his or her current situations, past experiences, and ongoing attainment of knowledge.  As opposed to simply asking one another’s viewpoints on a particular subject, let’s choose to look deeper and ask the “why?” and “how?” of one’s coming to form that particular belief or opinion.  Likewise, make an attempt to see how a person’s particular belief has evolved and been shaped over a period of time.

This conversation might take more caffeine than a single cup of coffee…I’m gonna go brew a bigger pot.  It’s your turn to talk…what have I got ya thinking about right now?

– Nurse on Fire

If We Were Having Coffee…(4/15/16)

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that this week has been AWESOME…except for that one thing

The weather around our neck of the woods has been absolutely incredible this past week.  Warm, sunny, and, of course, windy (as always!)  I swear our son would live outside if we’d let him and that’s pretty much what we’ve been doing.  Our seed potatoes arrived by mail and I got them planted alongside the sprouting strawberry plants we put in the ground last year…they returned! 😀  Last year we enjoyed SIX of, I kid you not, the greatest strawberries I have ever eaten; hopefully this year will produce more as the plants are producing some runners.  Also, our son helped me put fresh potting soil in our PVC tube planters, which were initially a failed effort as strawberry planters but this year we are going to plant some small annuals of marigolds and evening primrose in them.  We’ll see how well that turns out.  If you haven’t seen this project idea, give it a Google because it’s really cool.  Maybe I’ll post a picture…especially if the flowers don’t let us down!  Also, we gave the Jeep an awesome and well-deserved scrubbing.  My wife cleaned and vacuumed the inside with exceptional detail and I, along with a little help from our son on the hose, gave her a good bath (the Jeep…not my wife! ;))

Everything else around the house is starting to flower out nicely, as well.  We planted a rose bush and a lilac bush last year, as well as two dwarf apple trees that are going strong, and nearly all of our lily bulbs from two seasons ago are exploding with new growth.  Also, I dug up one of the five chokecherry bushes along our sidewalk to make things symmetrical and to make room for the construction of two new flower beds that are each going to measure roughly 3′ x 15′.  We discussed planting tulips last fall but held off and have now decided that we are going to do so this year.  I ordered the bulbs from Colorblends and they’ll be arriving around the first week of October; here’s to hoping we’re not shoveling snow to get them planted!

I also put up a couple shelves and a tool organizer in the garage that have helped with organization and safety to keep some things out of our son’s reach.  We are going to begin working on going through our stored stuff in the basement and pricing more things for a garage sale this spring/summer.

That pretty well sums up our spring cleaning and outdoor fun-time progress this week.

So…..back to that one thing…

Have you ever done something so catastrophically dumb that it made you feel physically ill?  I managed to do that this week.  Yesterday, actually.  I have this habit where I, without even consciously thinking about it, take my thumb and pinky and spin my wedding ring around on my finger.  Well, I happened to do that last night at work and realized that my ring wasn’t on my finger!  I immediately felt sick to my stomach, thinking I had somehow managed to wrap it up in some disposable gloves in a patient’s room and threw it in the trash.  Yep..my mind went there.

Last week, before going to bed, I took my ring off  to put lotion on my hands and forgot to put it back on, leaving it on the counter for the night so I was HOPING that’s what I had done this time.  I texted my wife and asked if she had seen it.  She hadn’t!  :-S  Okay, the next logical possibility was that I left it in the pocket of my shorts the night before when I took it off to put lotion on our kiddo after his bath.  However, it hadn’t turned up in the laundry so that was a no go, as well.  Or maybe I did do that and it fell out of my pocket and got lodged in the recliner while reading to him before bed?  I was holding out hope that that was the answer and so I controlled my panicking and waited it out until morning.

Morning came…I went home and checked the recliner…and the couch…and the bathroom…and the bedroom…see where I’m going with this!?!?!?!?!??!

My wife then had a thought.  She asked, did you sit it on top of the Jeep when you put on sunscreen yesterday?  Prior to her getting in the car and heading to the post office, I had taken the bottle of sunscreen off the top of the car where I had left it.  That previously mentioned sickening feeling had returned with full force at that point and, rightfully so, my wife was, shall we say, less than pleased with me as we both come to the realization that my ring was quite likely gone for good.

Thankfully, the post office is only a few miles from our house and we live in a not-heavily-traveled area.  I headed out the front door and started walking her traveled path.  After about a quarter mile, I turned around and got the Jeep, driving instead and making frequent stops where I felt the change in the road could have caused the ring to slide off the roof.  No luck with the first few stops.

Finally, about a mile from the house, I came to a spot that I knew there was no way the ring could have stayed on beyond that turn due to the change in the road terrain.  I got out, glanced around, and I FOUND IT!  While I was still incredibly pissed off at myself for the situation in general, that was a moment of pure elation and relief.

I love my wife and I have cherished my wedding band since the day I put it on; however, this “experience” has resulted in my viewing this ring in a whole new light.  While I don’t like to project feelings onto inanimate objects, this is completely different.  An inanimate object like my cell phone, for example, is replaceable, and is not worthy of having feelings attached to it.  If my phone fell off the roof of our car, got ran over, and smashed into a thousand pieces, I’d be irritated at the monetary loss of replacing the thing but, all-in-all, no big deal, I’ll order another one tomorrow.  However, my ring, which is now and will remain glued to my finger (figuratively, of course :-D,) is irreplaceable.  Sure, I can buy another ring, just like I could buy another cell phone.  But I can’t buy this ring…this ring that my loving wife placed on my finger the day we were married.

I hate disappointing my wife and that’s exactly what I did.  She, again rightfully so, stayed pretty pissed at me for the majority of the day.  I don’t even wanna imagine how the day would’ve gone if I hadn’t found the ring.  We won’t venture down that road.  You’ll be happy to know that, thankfully, we’ve since made up and we’re still best friends!  🙂

All that being said, here is my extremely public acknowledgement of my immense screw up and, to go along with it, my globe-encircling apology.  I’m sorry, my love.  It took me two years to temporarily lose my ring; here’s to hoping you’ll give me another 80 to try and not do it again!  😉  I love you!

– Brandon

Back to my question:  have you ever done something so catastrophically dumb that it made you feel physically ill?  I’d love to hear your story if you’re willing to share!

P.S. – wanna know an ironic (dare I say funny?  Just kidding…not funny!) coincidence in this whole story?  I’m posting about this for the #weekendcoffeeshare and, when my wife went to the post office, she was going to pick up my coffee order from Honest Roast Coffee.  It’s insanely good coffee; but, seriously, WTF?!  😐

If We Were Having Coffee…(4/9/16)

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about my wife, Cheyenne, and how she is my greatest friend, the mother of my son, and the love of my life who has stuck by me for nearly 11 years, in spite of all the times she should’ve simply told me to go fuck myself.

You see, I haven’t always been the loving husband and father that I am today.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always loved her…but there were countless numbers of times where I didn’t put her first and treat her like the priority that she should’ve been in my life.  I could make excuses and blame it on being young and immature, but that’s bullshit.  I was simply too damn dumb to see what was right in front of my eyes and I way-too-often took her for granted.  Words cannot express how grateful I am that she has stood by me, but I’ll never truly understand the why.  I have come to realize how each and every one of my mistakes could have led to her ending our relationship, and that each one of those instances would have had the capability of subsequently leading to our son not existing.  Take a sip of your coffee and just let that marinate and sink in for a moment.  The thought of it truly breaks my heart and I will never jeopardize our unknown future again.  Witnessing the power of the butterfly effect in my own life is revolutionary in that I no longer think in the here-and-now; instead, my priorities are solid and my thoughts, actions, and planning are forecast years into the future, thereby allowing me to learn from my past mistakes and, therefore, make greater decisions in the present.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my wife is truly astounding and that I have never, nor will I ever, be truly deserving of her.  However, until she wises up and realizes that (maybe by reading this? ;)) I’m gonna hold on tight as hell and never let her go.

What would you tell me about your significant other?  Have you experienced any butterfly effect moments in your own life through your own mistakes/choices/experiences that have had the potential to completely decimate your entire world as you currently know it?  Let me know in the comments below; thanks for joining me.

If We Were Having Coffee…(4/1/16)

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you about about my incredible 18-month-old son and how he likes to call mommy and daddy’s coffee “hot-hot.”  I’d tell you how, when I get home from work in the morning, he squeals “Dadoo!” at me when I walk in his room to scoop him up.  We head out and let mom, my incredible wife, continue to catch a few more Zzz’s, while we make breakfast, which, here lately, has been French toast.  The smell of cinnamon, fresh coffee, and his sticky, syrupy fingers fill the kitchen and dining area as we listen to some music on Pandora and talk about whether or not he slept well and about what we’ve got on the agenda for the day.  Our chats always lead to laughter, whether it be from some new quirk he’s come up with or from classical lines that have become commonplace in our conversations and musings.   Afterwards, we whip up some more toast and take momma her breakfast in bed.  I’d tell you that this slice of my day, this routine, and the incredible bonding moments surrounding it, fills my life with such richness, love, and complete and utter joy that it is near incomprehensible.  The love of this father for his child extends to the furthest depths of human imagination.

If we were having coffee, that’s what I’d tell you.  What would you tell me?